A couple weeks ago there was a situation where someone came at me with some anger, by email. It was a misunderstanding, and I decided to alchemize that situation. I committed to non-violent communication and to sending love back their way. No anxiety, no ego, no malice. Just love. Just compassion. It felt so good for me and I recommend it as a strategy for anyone. The world needs more of that, rather than angry reactions and creating more hurt.
The book The Dance with Anger was recommended to me once. It sits on my shelf and I will read it someday, but I am still just in a place where I am working on looking at myself without using anything else as a tool besides the mirrors that are set up in the universe for me.
I have been on a journey filled with growth and beauty. I have taken in so much love and beauty and am feeling it all so deeply. Coming out to California was an act of uprooting myself. I moved away from my family, my friends, my partner…my community. For a while I would just weep; I was overcome with fear and sadness and confusion. I felt so alone. But it is always darkest just before the dawn, as they say. And I have found peace and light and am feeling bright and vibrant and beautiful. I am so thankful.
I just got back from a weekend at Bioneers and that was the exact cap-off I needed to look at how far I have come. The weekend before, I was at the NorCal Permaculture Convergence, and the weekend before that I was at Hoes Down. Three consecutive weekends of fun and community building and learning. And the timing was exactly right! For the past couple months I have been feeling more and more solid. I have been standing in my power and sending good intentions out to the world and to those around me. I have been looking at and deeply learning to accept myself.
I have been doing Yoga. Lots of beautiful Yoga on my porch facing a grove of young redwoods. I have been inspired by the beautiful movements of teacher Meghan Currie, who was introduced to me by a friend. See the end of this post for a sample video of hers.
I also went surfing for the first time last week! So much beauty and good energy right now. I am really rethinking the way I produce and consume and am happy. There are no limits to what I can be and do and create! Chicago and my mircofarm there were my first teachers. Now I am feeling re-invigorated and regenerated. California is such an amazing incubator!
Moving west created movement in my life. I rocked the boat and thus cannot expect that I will be in a static state. The image that comes to mind is literally of a rocking canoe in the water. It will settle only when it is done rocking. I could not expect to settle in right away, and I do not see that I have, even now. But what beauty there is in this dynamism!
All photos in this post taken by me. All are subject to creative commons license. Thank you!
Here is the video of Meghan Currie!